The B!%@# Makes a Phone Call

Last night as I started winding down for bed I came across a distressing story sliding along my news feed.  A kegger planned in the House of Representatives as soon as they could get their parents sent off on permanent vacation to points unknown.  Alright not really a kegger, but it might as well have been.  The House Repugnant Committee had quietly voted to eliminate the Independent Ethics Office.  You know those independent people who are there to ensure and monitor the children play nice with each other and follow the laws of this land.

So while they thought no one was watching, they decided that they didn’t need to have an outside office holding them accountable for behaving ethically.  They, in fact, believed that they could police themselves.  Yes, in this moment your mind should be filled with images of every coming of age movie that ever existed. You know those John Hughes movies of the 80’s where hormonal teens left alone to monitor themselves just fall short of leveling their homes.  Alight, they are mostly a bunch of old white guys who are in desperate need for viagra.  So perhaps the image should be the codgers rushing for the blue pills and sneaking the strippers in the back door while the wives go out the front to play bingo, but who actually wants that picture in their head.

Now don’t get me wrong, I would love to believe that they could actually be trusted to behave ethically and to avoid the temptations provided by so many of those darling lobbyists.  But let’s face it, this maneuver, this choice to quietly try to load the parents on a bus while they thought no one was looking, does not exactly reinforce a belief that they can actually be trusted.

So as the boys geared up for their kegger I found myself cruising the internet in search of phone numbers and email addresses.  Stifling a serious need to laugh as I found that my representative was in fact an old codger, I picked up the phone and left my voice mail.  My message was quite professional, leaving my name, my area of residence, and my voiced concern that removing this office did not instill confidence in their planned actions for the coming term.  I then turned to that representative’s website and fired off a well crafted summary of my concerns via email.

I point out that my responses were well crafted and professional for one reason and one reason only.  The repugnants have gotten really good at claiming that the other side are alarmists and driven by a lack of sense and an overabundance of emotion.  Believe me, at that moment, I wanted to scream my fool head off about them trying to pull one over on us.  I wanted to be that parent so often appearing in the sitcom’s who looks like they are about to burst a blood vessel or two.  I wanted to call them sleazy backroom politicians who had sold their souls.

Instead I kept it reigned in and spoke with complete and utter professionalism.  While we are going to be able to voice our uncensored opinions in places like this blog or in our comments on news feeds, every single time we make a phone call (and believe me, we are going to have to make a lot of them) to these children we are going to have to adopt a professional tone.  We are going to have to ensure that they cannot point at our messages and claim that they are being harassed by those who are unable to control their emotions. We are going to have to show them that while we are pissed off and want to rip their conniving, back dealing heads off, our emotions are well tempered by level heads who fully understand the implications of their crap.

With all of that being said… you can bet this B!%@H is furious that these smarmy excuse for human beings tried to start out their term by opening the door to rampant unethical behavior.  I do not have great hope for the future.

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