Day 3 – The B!%@# Hates Pointing Fingers…Unless It’s the Middle One

Day 3 – Not really much rattling around in my brain.   Well that’s not entirely true.  At the moment I am desperately trying to get an image out of my head.  Picture this…the Tangerine and Bannon as toddlers in dirty diapers swatting at each other as they scream that it’s the other one who stinks.  Both have fully loaded diapers and are rather horrible looking toddlers.  Trust me, this is NOT an image you want slamming against your skull as you try to bring your thoughts to a peaceful lull to allow for sleep.

What the hell is it with repugs and pointing their fingers at everyone else?  Why does the public buy into this shit?  And you can’t say that the public doesn’t buy into it because a year after the election whenever some new pile of Tangerine crap comes to light you can see the repugnant trolls on every single FB feed and twitter roll screaming…but what about Crooked Hillary?

Seriously did their mothers never teach them to take responsibility for their actions?  What the hell am I asking, of course not.  These people are the one’s who jump around screaming that their life circumstances are what they are because of that guy over there needing health care.  I mean the entire country MUST be in the state of shit that it is because Joe Smith and his lovely wife had to get food stamps to feed their children.  Doesn’t matter that they both work and spend almost no time with their children because they can’t afford to. Their need for food stamps is the reason why someone can’t get something, somewhere… and we must all blame those sad sacks who work their ass off but still need help.

I swear this country has become such a sad state of blame the world and take care of no one.  If we give aid to another country we hear bitching about how someone must have missed out on something.  If a person’s health insurance bill goes up it HAS to be because of the mandate and the fact that some poor person who has never been able to have health insurance now suddenly is able to go see a doctor without a massive emergency room tab.  Everything is everyone else’s fault and we sure as hell don’t believe in taking care of anyone else.

These self-centered piece of crap repugs keep standing around shouting how they want to make America great, but every damn thing they do is exactly the opposite.  They promote lifting up by stepping on the necks of others. What the hell happened to this country?  When did it become such a sty for a well rehearsed collection of self-absorbed twats who scream holy hell at the idea of doing anything for the planet or for their fellow man.

Day 2 – The B!%@# Doesn’t Like Dick Waving

Day 2 and I actually sat down again to write.  I set an alarm on my computer to remind me that I want to take some time and get my thoughts out on the screen.  Seems like a practical way to remind one’s self right?  Except I have this bad habit, I set alarms, hit snooze, and forget.  Or I turn the sound down on my computer and miss the beep all together.  Perhaps I will come up with another strategy to help me remember this exercise in brain dump.

Returned to work today after a bit of a break and while I have to admit that it was nice to have someplace to go, it got me thinking.  Why do I actually live in where I do?  Of all of the places in the world that I could pick to live, why here?  Why did I settle into small town USA where activities are either sports or church based?

Being that I am not a Christian and my interest in sports is on an equivalent level, it would stand to reason that I have chosen to place myself in self-imposed isolation. Generally my life consists of reading news (which only contributes to the festering brain syndrome), going to work, bothering my teenage daughter, and playing video games.  If I want to do anything beyond those options it requires travel time with the nearest non-church and/or sporting option being a minimum of an hours drive.

Looking back on what I just wrote you would assume that I was seeking some sort of sympathy.  I can assure you that I am not.  I accept that I put myself into this position.  Somehow I thought it was the right choice when I made it.  But I also have to wonder if living in an area where I have no interest beyond my own four walls has been harmful to my outlook.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy pestering that daughter of mine and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  Of all of the decisions or choices that I have made in this life, the one that I can stand behind a million times over is putting that child first.  She is an amazing human being and I am grateful for her.  But am I setting the best example by allowing myself to continue to reside in a state of self-imposed solitude.

I know that I want to move, but my bank account hovering around a hundred bucks doesn’t exactly scream, “pick up and move to California.”  Despite all of my desire to escape, to make a change, there is always the monetary concerns that will slap you upside the head and bring you back to reality.

Brain dump over… moving on.

Hmmmmm of the day…. Based on the consistent rambling and posturing of the Tangerine in chief I have come to understand that he must have the smallest pecker on record.  He has classic small man syndrome and it is evidenced in every single thing he does or says.  Small man syndrome is normally reserved for those men who are height challenged and since we can see from photographic evidence…that’s not his problem.  So tiny dick it must be.

Today brought the latest dick waving stunt as the dumbass posited that his nuclear button must be bigger than North Korea’s nuclear button.  Someone give that stupid son of a bitch a shiny red sports car and tell him that it makes him look like a real man, PLEASE.  At least then he might only kill himself trying to rev it up and prove himself a man… this button comparing is going to get people killed.

This makes me wonder…is that the problem with all the numskulls who voted for the Tangerine?  I remember reading some article about white men feeling left behind, yet I know many confident self-assured white men who didn’t toss a vote in the direction of that idiot.  Could we round up the repugs and have them whip it out please?  Let’s just get this dick measuring contest taken care of … I am sure there are a number of volunteers who would be happy to bring out their centimeter sticks.

But seriously, I have a theory on all of that “left behind” bullshit that people are spewing as an excuse for why dumb asses vote and support the repugs.  It’s pretty straight forward really.  People have this primal animal instinct to be superior to something.  They want to feel like they are somehow better than that guy over there.  Religions feed into it by declaring that only the people who believe this way will get into heaven and all the rest are losers.  Repugs have taped into that animal instinct too.  They are pushing for the “Great Again” agenda, not because they really think the country is shit, but because they want to sell those poor sad sacks something to make them feel bigger and better than the next guy.

Why else is it so easy to find people now days who are declaring that it isn’t their job to take care of everyone else?

Humanity is one entity and if we keep trying to be better than…we are going to find that we have been relegated to “once upon a time a long time ago…”

An Exercise in Unleashing the B!%@# – Day 1

So it is rather cliche to start a new regime or anything new on the first of the year.  We all know that very rarely do New Year’s resolutions continue beyond the first few days and are often completely forgotten by the end of the month.  People then suddenly remember their existence during the waning days of the year and use their failures as ammunition to berate themselves into creating yet another set of resolutions destined not to be attained.  A set of criteria laid out in advance as the following years guilt manifesto.

As I sit at here typing I find myself wanting to start something.  Perhaps it is the idea of a new year being all shiny and new, only time and effort will know the truth.

I have found myself spiraling lately.  Every time I think that I have my head above water and that I am feeling somewhat stable in the ways of the world, I am blindsided by something.  A little over a year ago I started blogging as a way to express my frustrations and for a while I stuck with it.  But then it got to a point of feeling like an utter exercise in futility.  No matter what I wrote, all it led to was more hostility and sometimes an outright feeling of despair.

Writing was a way to seek a solution and yet I was often left forced to face the absurdity of the current state of the world. I suppose that I hoped for something more than posting my thoughts.  I looked to my words on the screen and hoped that somewhere in the ramblings of a forty something year old woman I would find a solution, a way of dealing with all horrible things I see unfolding around me.

That solution never came and I still don’t know if there really ever will be one available.  It is completely and entirely possible that the damage is irreversible.  Which is a thought I don’t like to have, but one that lingers in the back of my mind on a regular basis.

As I return to this blog, I find that I have to let go of that hidden hope for a solution.  Instead I need to turn to this merely as a way to let go of my thoughts.  I need to be able accept that nothing may ever come of them.  The only purpose of writing here has to be the simple goal of moving what loops constantly within my brain out and allowing me to let go. Maybe someone will stumble upon my ramblings and find some sort of solace in finding a kindred spirit but even that hope can’t be my goal here.

HMMMMMM of the day:  Why is it that teachers are held to higher standards than members of congress or even the idiot sitting in the oval office?

I have heard of districts telling their teachers that they are not private citizens and that they need to watch what they post on Facebook.  While I have always agreed that a teacher should never speak of their students or colleagues while writing on a social platform, I completely disagree with the notion that a teacher gives up their rights to be a private citizen.

How is it acceptable to hold teachers to a higher standard than what we set for the office of the President?  There are teachers who are told not to cuss on FB because it could lead to their termination.  Teachers have found themselves out of a job for posting pictures of themselves holding an ale while on vacation.  Yet when that Tangerine prick spouts off a stream of four letter tweets or makes innuendo about what a member of congress will do for donations, an entire group of people line up to justify his actions.  Those same people would be the one’s leading the charge to have a teacher fired who utters the blandest of curse words on their own personal FB wall.

I suppose I have come to accept that this country has become a festering pit of contradictions.  Hold some people to standards, but not others.  Claim to be Christian, but don’t actually follow any of the whole “love your neighbor” values.  Demand that women give birth to children, but don’t provide for those children once they are actually here.  Expect schools produce the best, but then cut their funding by funneling money to private schools (schools which don’t actually have to meet any standards of achievement).





The B!%@# Wants to Call Garbage … Garbage

With the events of the past weekend splashed across my feeds I find myself grateful to see that some are finally starting to put the correct label on the actions of these monsters. Terrorism is defined as “the unlawful use of violence and intimidation, especially against civilians, in the pursuit of political aims.”  The actions of anyone who uses violence to further their beliefs is an act of terrorism, it’s a pretty straight forward concept as long as we don’t start sub-labeling or categorizing it.

The man who ran over those people in Charlottesville is a terrorist.  That is the most important label that we can attach to this man.  He personally ascribes to the beliefs that one race is superior to another and he chose to attack those who oppose him with a violent assault that cost one woman her life and injured many others.  While he, as well as all other terrorists, is mentally ill…(wouldn’t you have to be to do something like this) that does not and will never justify or excuse his actions.

The groups he is associated with and their hateful rhetoric are despicable.  There is not a single redeeming quality to their message.  But no matter the groups he chose to associate with, we need to start recognizing the power with just calling a spade a spade. When these people commit acts of violence or intimidation for the sake of promoting their nauseating agenda, they are terrorists.

Unfortunately too many people have a hard time with the idea of applying that word to this man or to any other Caucasian man who commits an act of terror.  They want to equivicate and call them mentally unstable.  They want to find ways to separate their actions from the actions of others who have committed atrocities.  Why?  Well in my mind it’s really pretty simple.  For many years when you turn on the news, read a blog, or listen to a politician speak, you are confronted with the term “Islamic Terrorist.” This continuous use of the sub-label has created a situation where people hear “act of terror” and they make an automatic assumption as to the perpetrators.

What I would have to wonder would happen if we stopped using sub-labels and simply called these monsters out for what they are…terrorists.  They are the most vile of human beings.  They are so extreme in their views that they are willing to harm other people to further their cause.  It really doesn’t matter what their cause is… the end game is the same…high damage and the spreading of their ideals.  So what would happen if we started spending less time focusing on helping them spread their ideals by labeling their bullshit?

Perhaps I am oversimplifying, but I can’t help but wonder if we would be more able to accept that terrorism has no race, creed, religion, or gender.  The people who commit these acts of violence come in a variety of colors, religions, nationalities, and belief systems.  But their reasons for their actions should never be more important than the victims who suffer at their hands and frankly their reasons and affiliations should be but a footnote.  All we really need to know is that they were a jackass terrorist.

So when we talk about that monster who ran over people in Charlottesville, let’s please not waste time of calling him a “white terrorist.”  The man is a terrorist, much like those who bombed the OKC Fed Building, the man who attacked the people in their Mosque in Canada, and those who rammed a van into a crowd in Barcelona.  ALL of them are just as worthless and all of them need to be no more than a blip…a Terrorist.  Stop giving them their 15 minutes and start focusing on their victims.   Start realizing that ALL acts of terror need to be thrown into the same refuse pile.


The B!%@# Wants the Narrative To Be Right

For years there has been an annual event called, “Take Your Daughter to Work.”  This event, as I understand it, was created as a way to encourage young girls to dream beyond the former confines of the role of housewife.  By going to work with their parents, daughters were to learn that their roles were not limited.  They could choose to be anything and it would be accepted.  The possibilities were only limited by one’s own choices and through motivation they could go on to be anything.

To me this concept is natural.  As a woman who grew up with a divorced mother and a pretty much worthless father, I am used to seeing a woman who gets out there and does what needs to be done.  The idea of a woman being limited to a set role or place in society simply because she was born with a vagina seems completely and utterly ridiculous.  I see a woman as a human being and as a human being she should be afforded every single opportunity available to men.

Yet for some the concept of equal treatment and access is foreign and even offensive.  To them there is a natural order to things and they see men as superior and women as subordinate.  They work tirelessly to find ways to maintain their caveman view of the world.  There are the small yet insidious things that happen every day that are designed to maintain the false superiority of the male.

For years a woman’s worth has frequently been assessed by her appearance and her willingness to maintain the status quo.  Women who sought to go beyond the roles that were being dictated to them were referred to as bitchy, bossy, pushy, uppity, or any of a million vile terms you could dream up.  How many times over the last 3 decades have we seen Hillary Clinton degraded because of her looks, her drive, and her forceful personality?

Don’t get me wrong, we have made strides forward.  But recent events have demonstrated that there is also a powerful snap back in action.  How else can you explain the election of a man who openly degrades women?  This man has repeatedly made horrible statements about women based on their appearance and his own base desires.  Yet they were deemed acceptable.  A section of the population declared that such behaviors were worthy of the office of the president.  Through their votes they once again stated that women were to be subordinate, that it was accepted, even embraced treatment.

Oddly, I began this post today to meander my way around to the entire Ivanka G20 thing. There have been many people who have made comments about her not being qualified to be at the table.  Reality is that she has a Bachelors degree in business from Wharton Business school and years of experience working for the Tangerine.  None of which necessarily qualifies or disqualifies her from taking a seat at the table.

As photos of her filling in for her father at the meeting started to make their way across the internet it seemed that the snarky comments abounded.  Many of them were, of course, delivered with their usual anti-female flair.  They were coated in degradation and venom many of which seemed targeted toward her taking a place at the table as “daddy’s little girl.”  Hell even the cropping of the photos seemed to be feeding into the whole “daddy’s little girl at the big table” narrative.  A narrative that is completely ridiculous and does not help either females or the United States.

With all of that being said, I do not believe she had any place at that table.  I don’t believe she has any business working in the White House and I sure as hell do not believe that either her or her husband should be negotiating anything for this country.  But I want to make sure that we keep the focus on the legitimate reasons.  This is not about genitalia. This is about a person taking a seat at the table who shouldn’t have been there in the first place, a person who has few qualifications and is ill-prepared.

The Tangerine has taken this whole Take Your Children to Work thing to the extreme.  He has absolutely no political experience beyond campaigning.  Upon taking office he surrounded himself (see most of his inner circle) with a number of people with no political experience.  These people are supposed to advise him and in some instances they are to act on behalf of the United States.  His daughter has been included as one of his top advisers and she, like her father, has zero political experience.

Listen, I don’t care that she was a model.  I don’t care that her fame is built on three things: modeling, sitting next to the guy who said “you’re fired,” and her last name.  She is an intelligent woman with a business degree and has worked many years in the family business.  But that still doesn’t qualify her to be an adviser to the White House.

If she were in a position on a city council I wouldn’t blink an eye, at least she would be starting out and learning the processes involved in politics.  But sitting her at that G20 table is like taking a driver of any gender with a fresh off the printer learner’s permit and handing them the keys to a McLaren P1 LM ($3.7 million dollar car) and saying, “don’t scratch the paint.”  You just don’t do that shit.




The B!%@# is Not Dead, Just…

For those few who may have wondered…no I am not dead or done or any of the other number of things that would cause me to stop writing indefinitely.  I love to write.  It has always been an outlet for me and over the years it has taken many forms, from the obscure to the sarcastic bitch, I have written.

When I began this blog I was in a state of complete and utter shock.  I could not understand how it was possible for the people in this country to show support for the Tangerine and his disgusting ideals.  How could anyone value that?  What redeeming qualities could there possibly be in the venom he spewed?  As someone who has the unfortunate situation of living in an area that is teeming with those individuals, I found myself in need of somewhere, anywhere, to stand and scream.  This blog was and is my place.

All of this leads to the next most obvious question.  If it was and still is my place, why have I not been writing?  Truth…I am overwhelmed.  It seems that there is not a moment without something that makes my head and heart hurt.  I find that there is no time to breath, even the slightest gasp of air seems forced and hard to come by in today’s climate.

So what have I done instead?  Loved my daughter, played video games, worked on other projects, and hoped that at some point there would be a moment…just one moment where I wouldn’t feel the urge to scream at people on the street for the pile of shit that we find ourselves currently wading through.  While I have found much to smile about in my time, I still come back to this place.  This realization that while I may be overwhelmed I have to continue to pick my battles.  I have to continue to put it out there. This B!%@# is not done.

So with all of that said, let us look at today’s battle.  What in the hell is going on in the state of Missouri?  Since when did it become a cesspool of backwards morons?  Of course, I am talking about the actions taken recently by the government officials.  But if you think about it, what in the hell were people thinking when they elected these douche bags?

For years the Repugs have held this whole less government stance and they have sold it in all its polished turd form to a broad swath of voters in the state of Missouri.  You can hear people talking about the need to reduce taxes and get rid of the “entitlements.”  They stand around spewing the rhetoric.  “Why should I have to pay for someone else’s… (insert item of your choice here)?”  And while these voters have been spouting off the party lyrics, they seemed to have missed a note or two.  They have missed the fact that Repugs have turned into the party of small government…when it benefits our benefactors.

Why do I make this claim?  Case in point…the minimum wage increase in St. Louis.  A while back the city of St. Louis decided that they would increase their minimum wage to better reflect their “big city” status and ensure that those who live in that city can actually afford to do things like eat.  The city put this in place and then were promptly sued by businesses who did not want to meet that new minimum.

After the suit made its way through the court system it was finally allowed to take effect. Not wanting to fail their benefactors (read that as big businesses who pay for their shit), the representatives in the Missouri Senate decided to write a bill stating that no city in Missouri can pass a law to raise the minimum wage above the state level.  It was then signed into law by the Greitens (who admittedly I normally refer to as the Cretin).

What is my point with this little story?  Well hear me out…if they are for small government, how is this law following that supposed mantra?  For years I have heard the party line from people about how it’s important for locals to take care of their own.  The statement over and over again is that government should be localized and that people in a community should be able to ensure that their people have what they need.  Yet, when it comes to a city recognizing a need to increase the wage for those who reside there…the repugs shout NO and strip that community of the right to see to their own needs.

Let’s be real here.  The repugs are not really about “small government.”  They are about government that benefits businesses.  They support a government that tells people who to worship, what to do with their bodies (especially if they are women), and who to “hate.”  While I recognize that many of these representatives do believe the shit that they shovel, I have also come to know that many of them have no real interest beyond their front porch and their wallet.


The B!%@# Is Still…

Some cartoons just get you thinking…

Sometimes things become so overwhelming that you find yourself wanting to shove everything in a little box and pretend that it doesn’t exist.  That was the point I reached about a month ago.  Everyday there was yet another attack on my sensibilities and with each attack I found myself more pulled down, more lost in a sense of drowning.  It felt as if I were in a whirlpool with the current constantly pushing down on my mind and body and no matter how hard I kicked or flailed I couldn’t keep my head above water.

These months since the Tangerine took office have been some of the most gut wrenching and heartbreaking I can ever remember.  People seem to be on pins and needles waiting to see what exactly is going to be stripped away from them.  What peril are we going to have to survive?  What necessity are we going to have to find a way to exist without?  I have watched impassioned pleas from people standing before their representatives in Town Halls and I have watched YouTube videos posted by the people who’s representatives refuse to hear them.  Each new voice added to the cacophony serving only to further break my heart.

There are days when I scan through my news feed and I read about some new piece of evidence, some new revelation, and I find my breath catching.  Will this be the one?  Will this finally be the straw that breaks the resolve of the supporters?  And each day I find myself crying a little when nothing happens.  It seems no matter the revelation, there is no reparation.  We hear no apology for wrong doings.  Instead we hear excuses.  When we should be hearing the supposed patriotic Repugnants rattling their swords, we instead hear equivocating.

During the election the Tangerine stated that he would be able to stand on 5th Avenue in New York and shoot a person without losing a single vote.  Sadly it seems that he has, in fact, done just that.  It isn’t a person he has shot, it is the country.  He has damaged our nation in ways that may take years to discover and or correct.  If the damages can be corrected at all.

This week’s revelation that he gave highly classified intel to the Russians has cast a cloud over our relationship with Israel.  There are people in our own intelligence departments who do not wish to share intelligence with the Tangerine for fear that he will divulge it to Russia.  They would rather he doesn’t know for fear that the arrogant prick will use it as a piece of braggadocio and compromise someone through his blathering.

Other countries have found themselves looking at the United States with a sense of disbelief.  While we have had issues with other countries disliking our interference in their affairs, we have rarely been considered a laughing stock.  At least not in matters of international relations.  Yet there have been stories about NATO’s plans to deal with the Tangerine as if he were a toddler in need of being spoon fed.

Today we learned that the Tangerine had tried to interfere in the investigation into Michael Flynn’s issues.  Sadly those who support him are writing this off as a “war on his presidency.”  Instead of focusing on the fact that this man attempted to commit obstruction of justice, the people who support him are again justifying his actions.

I find myself wondering what it actually will take for them to realize that they have elected a treasonous pig.  They are backing someone who’s only concerns are truly his own and the well being of the wealthy in this country.  He proclaimed that the constitution was a problem and they didn’t bat an eye.  The founding document upon which this country is based and not even a murmur moved across their lips.  What crime must this man commit?

Again tonight I find myself crying for what we are losing.  I find myself concerned about the place we are to become.  I look to the countries that surround me and I wonder if I will be able to escape this one when it collapses in the ruin he and his repugnants are pushing us toward.  As the repugs refuse to put country over party they are showing themselves to be just a culpable in the acts of treason that the Tangerine commits.  Had either Obama or Clinton committed any of the acts we know the to have occurred during this presidency there would be pitchforks and torches… yet when a person with the right political party label commits treason, obstruction of justice, and collusion with a foreign government…it’s all within his purview.   Hypocrisy… you are now our state of existence.