The B!%@# Worries

The absurdity continues and honestly that worries me.  We have spent the last year and a half watching as the occupants of the White House have done one utterly despicable thing after another.  Interspersed among the utterly despicable have been the “what the fuck was that” and the “oh hell what has that idiot said now” moments.  It has been a non-stop barrage of lies, corruption, and inhumane actions.

What worries me about this constant and complete barrage of raw sewage is pretty simple.  Humans are adaptable.  They often will adjust to their surroundings and over time will become so accustomed to things that they begin to lose sight.  With the constant crap emanating from this administration, are we doomed to just accept the diet that has been plated?

This morning I woke to the news that the Tangerine had decided to pardon some propagandist who had created fake names to circumvent limits on how much money he could give to campaigns.  Needless to say, this is one of those men who is right up this shit administrations alley, as we all have heard the stories of the multiple fictional names and personas that the idiot-in-chief has adopted to do interviews designed to promote himself.

With the pardon also came news that this country is in the process of applying tariffs to multiple countries for steel and aluminum. Which let’s face it, the short and sweet of that action is to further alienate this country from the world.  These kind of maneuvers are set up to squarely ensure that other countries have no trust or respect for the United States.  Which is oddly absurd in my mind because I am finding that as a citizen these actions are serving to ensure that I have no respect for this country.

Between these type of actions and the constant shit stream of vile tweets that flow from that administration I find that it’s becoming very hard to get people to listen.  People are so beat down by the continuous poundings on our senses.  Conversations that were happening frequently are now becoming harder to instigate.  Often I find that people are looking more and more beaten as they simply utter, “I can’t talk about this anymore.”

And with the inability to talk about this anymore we are finding that people are less likely to know…  They are less likely to be aware of the multiple charges, indictments, and guilty pleas in the Russia probe.  Fewer people are aware of the assaults being perpetrated on our financial security as regulation after regulation on the banks are removed.  Insurance companies are price gouging to maximize profit margins and blaming it on the ACA.  The environment, hell mother nature as a whole, is taking hit after hit as precious protections are removed.

There is an election looming in November and as it draws closer I find that I am utterly and completely terrified.  At one point I was certain that Democrats would find a way to take congress and put some kind of check on all of this.  But as each day ticks by and I see more and more people put their head down and say…”I just can’t talk about this,” I have to wonder where we will be.

Day 3 – The B!%@# Hates Pointing Fingers…Unless It’s the Middle One

Day 3 – Not really much rattling around in my brain.   Well that’s not entirely true.  At the moment I am desperately trying to get an image out of my head.  Picture this…the Tangerine and Bannon as toddlers in dirty diapers swatting at each other as they scream that it’s the other one who stinks.  Both have fully loaded diapers and are rather horrible looking toddlers.  Trust me, this is NOT an image you want slamming against your skull as you try to bring your thoughts to a peaceful lull to allow for sleep.

What the hell is it with repugs and pointing their fingers at everyone else?  Why does the public buy into this shit?  And you can’t say that the public doesn’t buy into it because a year after the election whenever some new pile of Tangerine crap comes to light you can see the repugnant trolls on every single FB feed and twitter roll screaming…but what about Crooked Hillary?

Seriously did their mothers never teach them to take responsibility for their actions?  What the hell am I asking, of course not.  These people are the one’s who jump around screaming that their life circumstances are what they are because of that guy over there needing health care.  I mean the entire country MUST be in the state of shit that it is because Joe Smith and his lovely wife had to get food stamps to feed their children.  Doesn’t matter that they both work and spend almost no time with their children because they can’t afford to. Their need for food stamps is the reason why someone can’t get something, somewhere… and we must all blame those sad sacks who work their ass off but still need help.

I swear this country has become such a sad state of blame the world and take care of no one.  If we give aid to another country we hear bitching about how someone must have missed out on something.  If a person’s health insurance bill goes up it HAS to be because of the mandate and the fact that some poor person who has never been able to have health insurance now suddenly is able to go see a doctor without a massive emergency room tab.  Everything is everyone else’s fault and we sure as hell don’t believe in taking care of anyone else.

These self-centered piece of crap repugs keep standing around shouting how they want to make America great, but every damn thing they do is exactly the opposite.  They promote lifting up by stepping on the necks of others. What the hell happened to this country?  When did it become such a sty for a well rehearsed collection of self-absorbed twats who scream holy hell at the idea of doing anything for the planet or for their fellow man.

Day 2 – The B!%@# Doesn’t Like Dick Waving

Day 2 and I actually sat down again to write.  I set an alarm on my computer to remind me that I want to take some time and get my thoughts out on the screen.  Seems like a practical way to remind one’s self right?  Except I have this bad habit, I set alarms, hit snooze, and forget.  Or I turn the sound down on my computer and miss the beep all together.  Perhaps I will come up with another strategy to help me remember this exercise in brain dump.

Returned to work today after a bit of a break and while I have to admit that it was nice to have someplace to go, it got me thinking.  Why do I actually live in where I do?  Of all of the places in the world that I could pick to live, why here?  Why did I settle into small town USA where activities are either sports or church based?

Being that I am not a Christian and my interest in sports is on an equivalent level, it would stand to reason that I have chosen to place myself in self-imposed isolation. Generally my life consists of reading news (which only contributes to the festering brain syndrome), going to work, bothering my teenage daughter, and playing video games.  If I want to do anything beyond those options it requires travel time with the nearest non-church and/or sporting option being a minimum of an hours drive.

Looking back on what I just wrote you would assume that I was seeking some sort of sympathy.  I can assure you that I am not.  I accept that I put myself into this position.  Somehow I thought it was the right choice when I made it.  But I also have to wonder if living in an area where I have no interest beyond my own four walls has been harmful to my outlook.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy pestering that daughter of mine and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  Of all of the decisions or choices that I have made in this life, the one that I can stand behind a million times over is putting that child first.  She is an amazing human being and I am grateful for her.  But am I setting the best example by allowing myself to continue to reside in a state of self-imposed solitude.

I know that I want to move, but my bank account hovering around a hundred bucks doesn’t exactly scream, “pick up and move to California.”  Despite all of my desire to escape, to make a change, there is always the monetary concerns that will slap you upside the head and bring you back to reality.

Brain dump over… moving on.

Hmmmmm of the day…. Based on the consistent rambling and posturing of the Tangerine in chief I have come to understand that he must have the smallest pecker on record.  He has classic small man syndrome and it is evidenced in every single thing he does or says.  Small man syndrome is normally reserved for those men who are height challenged and since we can see from photographic evidence…that’s not his problem.  So tiny dick it must be.

Today brought the latest dick waving stunt as the dumbass posited that his nuclear button must be bigger than North Korea’s nuclear button.  Someone give that stupid son of a bitch a shiny red sports car and tell him that it makes him look like a real man, PLEASE.  At least then he might only kill himself trying to rev it up and prove himself a man… this button comparing is going to get people killed.

This makes me wonder…is that the problem with all the numskulls who voted for the Tangerine?  I remember reading some article about white men feeling left behind, yet I know many confident self-assured white men who didn’t toss a vote in the direction of that idiot.  Could we round up the repugs and have them whip it out please?  Let’s just get this dick measuring contest taken care of … I am sure there are a number of volunteers who would be happy to bring out their centimeter sticks.

But seriously, I have a theory on all of that “left behind” bullshit that people are spewing as an excuse for why dumb asses vote and support the repugs.  It’s pretty straight forward really.  People have this primal animal instinct to be superior to something.  They want to feel like they are somehow better than that guy over there.  Religions feed into it by declaring that only the people who believe this way will get into heaven and all the rest are losers.  Repugs have taped into that animal instinct too.  They are pushing for the “Great Again” agenda, not because they really think the country is shit, but because they want to sell those poor sad sacks something to make them feel bigger and better than the next guy.

Why else is it so easy to find people now days who are declaring that it isn’t their job to take care of everyone else?

Humanity is one entity and if we keep trying to be better than…we are going to find that we have been relegated to “once upon a time a long time ago…”

An Exercise in Unleashing the B!%@# – Day 1

So it is rather cliche to start a new regime or anything new on the first of the year.  We all know that very rarely do New Year’s resolutions continue beyond the first few days and are often completely forgotten by the end of the month.  People then suddenly remember their existence during the waning days of the year and use their failures as ammunition to berate themselves into creating yet another set of resolutions destined not to be attained.  A set of criteria laid out in advance as the following years guilt manifesto.

As I sit at here typing I find myself wanting to start something.  Perhaps it is the idea of a new year being all shiny and new, only time and effort will know the truth.

I have found myself spiraling lately.  Every time I think that I have my head above water and that I am feeling somewhat stable in the ways of the world, I am blindsided by something.  A little over a year ago I started blogging as a way to express my frustrations and for a while I stuck with it.  But then it got to a point of feeling like an utter exercise in futility.  No matter what I wrote, all it led to was more hostility and sometimes an outright feeling of despair.

Writing was a way to seek a solution and yet I was often left forced to face the absurdity of the current state of the world. I suppose that I hoped for something more than posting my thoughts.  I looked to my words on the screen and hoped that somewhere in the ramblings of a forty something year old woman I would find a solution, a way of dealing with all horrible things I see unfolding around me.

That solution never came and I still don’t know if there really ever will be one available.  It is completely and entirely possible that the damage is irreversible.  Which is a thought I don’t like to have, but one that lingers in the back of my mind on a regular basis.

As I return to this blog, I find that I have to let go of that hidden hope for a solution.  Instead I need to turn to this merely as a way to let go of my thoughts.  I need to be able accept that nothing may ever come of them.  The only purpose of writing here has to be the simple goal of moving what loops constantly within my brain out and allowing me to let go. Maybe someone will stumble upon my ramblings and find some sort of solace in finding a kindred spirit but even that hope can’t be my goal here.

HMMMMMM of the day:  Why is it that teachers are held to higher standards than members of congress or even the idiot sitting in the oval office?

I have heard of districts telling their teachers that they are not private citizens and that they need to watch what they post on Facebook.  While I have always agreed that a teacher should never speak of their students or colleagues while writing on a social platform, I completely disagree with the notion that a teacher gives up their rights to be a private citizen.

How is it acceptable to hold teachers to a higher standard than what we set for the office of the President?  There are teachers who are told not to cuss on FB because it could lead to their termination.  Teachers have found themselves out of a job for posting pictures of themselves holding an ale while on vacation.  Yet when that Tangerine prick spouts off a stream of four letter tweets or makes innuendo about what a member of congress will do for donations, an entire group of people line up to justify his actions.  Those same people would be the one’s leading the charge to have a teacher fired who utters the blandest of curse words on their own personal FB wall.

I suppose I have come to accept that this country has become a festering pit of contradictions.  Hold some people to standards, but not others.  Claim to be Christian, but don’t actually follow any of the whole “love your neighbor” values.  Demand that women give birth to children, but don’t provide for those children once they are actually here.  Expect schools produce the best, but then cut their funding by funneling money to private schools (schools which don’t actually have to meet any standards of achievement).





The B!%@# Hates Conspiracy Theories… But Lately Even I am…

What will it take?  I find myself asking this question on a daily basis.  Each and everyday there is a new revelation and still there are those who say, “hey it’s okay.”  They stand up and shout “make America great again.”  These people do not want to see how others see this country.  They also do not see the shame growing on the faces of their fellow citizens with each passing day.

There are many who are standing up and shouting about the problems.  They organize and they try to put together ways to show disapproval for the things going on in Washington. Yet even as these people pull out piles of evidence and facts demonstrating that we have a serious problem brewing in this nation’s capital, the blinders are still ever present.  The shouts of “MAGA” bury the calls for action and close their ears to truth.  Their refusal to see the problems is what guts me.  How is it possible that people can be so utterly and completely willfully blinded to what is happening?

Where I live, I see a constant crop of people who vote against their best interest.  They vote for politicians who are set on removing programs that would benefit them.  In an area of the country where at least 28% of the population lives in poverty and the median household income is $36,872, approximately 75% of the ballots cast in the last election were for the Tangerine.  In this area the majority of the population will be slammed by the proposed actions of the repugnants, yet they consistently vote for them.  It’s as if they hear the mention of tax cuts and they somehow believe that those are meant for them. They never seem to check the fine print.  Then when they find themselves on the losing side of this situation they always throw the blame at the Democrats.

Consistently over the last 30 years the repugnants have been the party of small government, if you consider only their actions to remove regulations on the corporations and the wealthy.  They are the party that continually works to reduce the taxes of the upper 5%.  They want to cut out regulations that reduce the profit margins of companies and banks.  Additionally the seek to protect those same companies, millionaires, and banks from repercussions when their actions cause harm to a consumer through the reduction of litigation options.

And contrary to the wishful thinking of those who vote for them, they don’t actually want to actually ensure personal liberties.  They want to issue plenty of regulations and laws aimed at increasing control over women’s rights, the LGBTQ, and minorities.

To further demonstrate their lack of consideration for individuals, they seek to cut and well flat out gut those programs which service our most vulnerable citizens (because well you know we have to give the wealthy more tax cuts and increase those profit margins). Health care is not a right they want to extend to every citizen.  Some repugnants have even taken to saying that the poor should simply choose between a phone and health care. There have been recent announcements of plans to do away with the EPA (because they regulate businesses and protect the environment – which is shared by everyone). Today the popular Meals on Wheels program came under fire as it appears that the budget cuts heading toward the Dept of Housing and Urban Development will effectively wipe out this program leaving thousands of elderly hungry.

As one reads of the proposed budget coming from the Tangerine one has to wonder whether this country will ever turn around and be something worth supporting.  There is this idea of dumping billions of dollars into the military and one has to ask what the purpose of such a choice is?  What do they hope to accomplish by dumping more money into a military whose budget already exceeds more than the next 8 nations combined?

It’s very hard to not fall into the realm of conspiracy theories as one watches the actions of this particular White House.  There is a sense about all of this that makes one feel as if we won’t be coming out the other side of this anytime soon.  Will we find ourselves a military state?  Will we end up trapped in a country that is so hated by the rest of the world that we will have no way of leaving?  I have never been a person who buys into the concepts of conspiracy theories, but as each event or new revelation unfolds before us and nothing happens… no actions are taken against them and more limitations are placed upon the whistle blowers… I find myself wondering and waiting.  Are we ever going to actually turn the lens on them or are we going to turn every new revelation as yet another excuse to investigate those who expose their shit?



The B!%@# Likes to Speak Her Mind

The evening saw many sitting down to watch the Super Bowl and admittedly I was not one of them.  I have no affinity for football and have determined that I have better things to do with my time.  So each year as people gather for parties and scream at the television, I find something else to do.  The one thing, like many, that I do partake in is the commercials. Although due to a lack of television, I generally have to wait a few days before they appear on the internet.

If you think about it, the Super Bowl is the one time when people actually sit down to watch a commercial.  With the advent of the DVR and various other options, very few people watch commercials willingly.  But during this event people seek out the advertisements.  There will be conversations.  They will be nitpicked apart and people will deem this one the best and that one the worst.  The annual tradition of commercial dissection in the break room will commence on the morrow.

Normally I have to wait a day or two for the commercials to fully find root online.  However this evening there are two that seem to have already raised both praise, as well as ire.  The first, a beer commercial, started making its rounds on the internet a few days before the game.  In this commercial the viewer watched an immigrant as he made his way from Germany to the United States.  As the story unfolds, people scream at him and tell him to go back where he came from, he escapes a burning boat, and the viewer roots for him as he perseveres.  People have read much into this commercial over the past few days and they seem to note a message about immigration.

Admittedly I first watched this commercial due to the rants I saw appearing in the comments on my FB feed.  There were people speaking of boycotting the beer, while others who never drink were planning on buying a six pack just to support the company. When I first watched it I could see the undertones that many were seeing.  I would have to wonder though if I read into the commercial due to the state of the world. Did I see something that was never meant to be there simply because we are faced with a world that is targeting immigrants?  Or did the company grow a pair and remind the world that we are a country of immigrants?

The second commercial that brought ire this evening came from a lumber company.  This spot depicts the journey of a woman and her daughter as they come to this country from Mexico.  Apparently part of it was edited out (the wall) due to it being deemed too controversial for the Super Bowl.  The complete ad is on their website or can be found on YouTube.  This one had all the feels that I have come to expect from many of these spots.  The little girl tugged at my heart and the desperation on the mother’s face is something that any mother could recognize.  In her eyes was the need to make their lives into something better for her daughter’s sake.

Both of these advertisements are drawing the rage of  xenophobes all over the country. People are calling for boycotts.  They are stomping their feet and declaring it unfair that these companies brought politics into their football game.  One person commented that “nothing was sacred anymore” because the companies had defiled their little game with a human’s rights issue.  What do these people expect to happen?  Do they truly believe that these companies should shove their heads up their backsides and ignore the world in which they live?

You know, I don’t believe that corporations should have person hood and I don’t think that they should be able to donate to political campaigns.  But that being said, I really have no problem with companies sharing their view on the state of the world.  If I disagree with their view I won’t purchase their products.  If I agree with what they have to say, I might purchase their products if I need them.  It’s pretty simple and rather straightforward. Don’t like a company, don’t patronize them.

What has happened in this country that we find it so easy to bastardize either celebrities or companies that share their view on the world?  Why do we find it so reasonable to scream that they should shut up and need to keep their voices to themselves?  You know, there are quite a few idiots in this world who I would love to slip a gag on and call it a day.  But I remind myself every time that when I encourage others to be gagged I am opening the door to the removal of my right to speak and that is not a right I am willing to abandon anytime soon.

Recently we have seen the press secretary of the White House telling the press to “shut up.”  We have seen people all over the internet calling Liberals names and telling them to shut their traps and accept the state of things.  There are generally people spouting off at each other on a daily basis.  Each one telling the other that they don’t have the right to share their thoughts.

We don’t have to like what others say and we certainly do not have to tolerate hate in our lives, but we can’t deny the right to speak.  When we start calling for others to lose a right we are volunteering to surrender our right as well.  With the Tangerine in office it is all to easy to fall into a trap in which we scream “shut up” at those who share his way of thinking.  People who realized that their hatred was reviled have exposed themselves to the light as they have come to believe that his vile behavior makes it alright to be a racist, a bigot, a xenophobe, or a sexist.  They are running around allowing their hate to ooze so freely that those who are opposed to them are finding ourselves trapped in a never ending loop of rage.  Yet, even as they rant and ramble we have to remember that we cannot deny their right to speak.  We can however, deny them an audience.

If a person spouts hate, turn your back on them and walk away.  When a person argues for exclusion present them with a plea for inclusion.  Give the vile no validation and ensure that every bit of venom is ignored and ostracized.  It is our duty as human beings to show these people that while they have right to speak their mind, they do not have the right to expect anyone to agree with them.



The B!%@# Never Could Stomach That Show

The day found the Tangerine speaking at the National Prayer Breakfast.  During his speech he focused on his favorite subject, himself.  He extolled his deranged virtues and shared with the room how great he was in comparison to the rest of the world.  While speaking at an event attended by many different religious leaders, you would think that the man would demonstrate a bit of humility or perhaps even stay on topic.  But no, he used it as a platform to thrust jabs at his reality TV successor and the failing ratings of the show.

The Apprentice and all of its incarnations have always been what I would consider to be a waste of time.  The concept is contrived and from the first episode it was an obvious way for the Tangerine to feed into his narcissism.  His over inflated opinion of himself was quite obvious as he sat in his boardroom and declared people unworthy.  Undoubtedly, I wish for the days when he was that inconsequential prick who sat on the other side of a table and uttered some petulant catch phrase.

This evening, a woman on one of my feeds mentioned watching the show to spite the comments the Tangerine’s comments.  While it seems, on the surface, to be an idea with some merit, one has to remember that he is still listed as a producer and therefore will make money from the show.  Increasing its ratings to spite him would only add more money to his bank accounts.

There are days when I find myself considering the possibility that we are all in some crazy reality show.  Perhaps there is some strange audience glued to their televisions shaking   their heads shaking in disbelief as they listen to the maniacal ramblings of the orange despot.   Perhaps we could convince them to change the channel, find another show, and allow us to escape the world we have somehow become trapped within.

Alas there is no remote and there is no interruption of this broadcast.  We cannot pause the show already in progress to share a more pressing message.  This is the world we are living in.  We reside in a place where a man stood in front of a room full of clergy and postulated on how he achieved greater ratings than his successor.  We live in a world where the leader of this country chose to remove the KKK and other white supremacist groups from the terror watch lists on the very day that he was to speak to representatives of religion (the supposed messengers of love and what is right).

I wish I could say that I was surprised.  However if I were to feign astonishment and shock it would be belittling to anyone with half a brain.  This country has long used religion as a weapon, yet rarely can you find someone who lives by it.  There are people all over this country who will look you in the eye and with a straight face, explain to you how their vote for the Tangerine was a righteous one.  They will profess that by electing a man who lies, cheats, steals, and degrades others, they were standing up for their religion.  Those same people will call foul of those who wish to demonstrate love and kindness to others.

Religion has long been a great separator of people.  Each sect falling in line behind their beliefs, using those beliefs to declare others wrong and themselves right.  Christians who claim to live by the teachings of Jesus are often the first to judge and demoralize those who are not of their religion.  They will commit crimes against the Earth while claiming a god given right to prosperity.  They will route another people from the very face of the planet and then claim it was acceptable as their victims were not “born again.”

Oddly it really isn’t much different from the actions of the Tangerine as he sat behind his board room table.  He sat on high in his tower and watched the actions of others.  Then he declared them to be inferior and unable to meet his standards.  Those who sat on the other side of the table were challenged to prove they were right and they should be spared his judgement.  It was, from the onset, a separation of people, a chance to judge and lift one above the rest under the guise of superiority.  In that room the religion was business, but hold no doubt, it was still a religion.  It was still a time to use a weapon against others and caste them aside.

So today the man with the tangerine hue stood before a group of clergy and he once again preached from his pulpit.  He claimed himself grand and others less.  He joked about the lack of success he perceived in others and left the meeting puffed with a delusion of righteousness and grand design.  It was that man who entered the White House.  It was that man whom others have come to know as the representative of this country.  It is that ridiculous low budget, classless, sideshow clown that the religious right have declared their savior.  Inexplicably, I find  it to be a rather suitable match.  Now if only we could get someone to change the channel.